Thomas Edison Wished He Had Invented it Himself.

Thomas Edison Wished He Had Invented it Himself
By: George

I've often wondered what some of the best inventions in human history were. While I'm unable to shake the weight of the awesome power of nuclear energy, allowing us the ability to harness incredible amounts of energy at the expense of a few mutated gold fish in a contaminated lake, the brilliant force of hydrogen propelled ships blasting off into outer-space, with the prospect of new and even more efficient forms of plasma powered space ships and all the marvelous advancements in modern medical science, the invention of the steak is still, bar none, the most magnificient invention to have ever passed through the superior intellect of the human species' brain.

While the evidence is irrefutable, there are still people in the world who argue that steak is not a man-made invention, but that it comes from nature. Nature? What do people even mean when they say nature? Nature is this term that people throw around in an attempt to somehow differentiate ourselves in our modern industrial life-styles from forest dwelling primates. It's like saying that a garden is not part of nature because people tend to it.

This argument doesn't make sense and I'll explain why using a few basic examples to show the bull-shit hippy assholes just how stupid they are:

Clothes: You'll never hear dipshit nature loving assholes tell you that clothes aren't man-made inventions. But you have to wonder why that is. Original forms of clothes were simply the hides of animals that our neanderthal ancestors tore from their killed hunted prey that they wore on their backs. Granted, we've perfected the technique so that we no longer have to smell the stench of the dead carcass when we prance around church during show and tell, but it's still the same basic idea.

Wooden Furniture: The only time you see people speaking out against wood is when a bunch of tree-huggers head out west to bitch and moan about the degredation of our 'natural' forests. You know, evil corporations committing mass-suicide by cutting down all these oxygen generating free standing objects for the use of building houses and schools. These assholes would have you throw away your cheap and affordable books, rolls of toilette paper and all the dinner chairs you sit on for... well, they don't really give much in the way of alternatives. But I guess we can always make those things out of plastic. What's a few inches off of the ozone layer if we can save a few hundred thousand trees.

Glass: Glass is a really interesting example. When have you ever heard people argue against the fact that glass is a man-made invention? Man, what a load of shit! If steak isn't a man-made invention, then by all accounts of that logic, neither is glass. I mean... come on. Glass is simply the melting down of sand particles in a massive oven by some dude wearing a funny hat with a long stick while he blows on it! Not only can we say it's not a man-made invention, Freud would have had some quarrels about the methods by which we harvest it.

Now, let's be serious for a minute. Steak rules. Nature did not come up with steak all on its own. Just look at all the different forms of steak that exist and that WE'VE invented:

-Fillet Mignon
-T-Bone
-New York Strip
-Ribeye
-Pepper Steak
-Tenderloin

And the list goes on. Thanks to man's ingenuity and superior intelligence, we have been able to succesfully transform an other wise boring milk-producing cow into so many various forms of delicious steaks that Thomas Edison would have shit himself if he had invented them.